Ever since we found out that we are expecting Elliott (back in November), I've had nerves and such. However, after seeing him on the ultrasound and everything, all those feelings have escalated. Some good, some bad.
Good: I'm even more excited to meet him than ever before. I spend a lot of time looking at his pictures and talking to him and feeling him move. I think about the fun things I'll get to do as the mom of a little boy, especially since I never grew up with a brother. T-ball, dinosaurs...boy things. If he's not into that, it's cool, but the possibility is higher with him than if he was a girl. It's amazing to see so much potential in such a little package. He is also being born in a big year for my mom's family. He'll be the third great-grandchild born within 8 months, joining Emma and Brooklyn (who was just born the other day). There will be so many little ones running around at family events. I'm excited for the new apartment so I can nest. I'm excited for my baby showers. I'm excited for July and giving birth (eek) and learning to care for him. Also, my friends and family are even more excited. My sister has started buying him things already. She's so excited to be an aunt. Almost as excited as Jason and I are to be parents.
Bad: I've always been sort of an anxious person, and it has become elevated in the last few weeks. I was in a car accident just before we got pregnant, and that had me on edge while I drive anyway. But now the stakes are higher. I'm afraid of eating something I shouldn't. I'm afraid of falling (especially on these icy days). I'm afraid of overdoing it. Now that Elliott seems like a more concrete person and not just "the baby," everything about my pregnancy seems even more important than before, which is difficult to believe.
Looking at those two paragraphs reminds me that there is way more positive than negative right now. It just needed to come off my chest.
Well, my little banana baby, here's to another week of growth and such. You're already Mommy's little prince. :)
- J & M (but mostly M today).